Why Your Home Should Reflect Your Personality

Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it? Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! Say what? Noooooo! Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! Large bet on myself in round one. Hello, little man. I will destroy you! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?

Who am I making this out to?

You can see how I lived before I met you. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. Oh, I think we should just stay friends. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

  1. I'll get my kit!
  2. With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!
  3. Can we have Bender Burgers again?

Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Is that a cooking show?

  • Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?
  • Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
  • These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are.

I can explain. It's very valuable. Hey, whatcha watching? Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. Actually, that's still true. Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful!

Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions? Also Zoidberg. Why would I want to know that? And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

We're also Santa Claus! You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! And when we woke up, we had these bodies. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things.

Yeah, lots of people did. Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Why did you bring us here?

I meant 'physically'. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? You wouldn't. Ask anyway! OK, if everyone's finished being stupid.

It doesn't look so shiny to me. She also liked to shut up! There's no part of that sentence I didn't like! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?

The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn't you just get me the death penalty?

You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me! Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food. Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?

Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?

Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

She also liked to shut up! Noooooo! I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Daddy Bender, we're hungry. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.

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